I found a poem/treasure hunt that I made for Chris when we were dating/engaged I don't really remember but I wanted a place to keep it and thought this would be a great place. And the perfect time to do it--on our anniversary! I love you sweetcakes! So glad you're mine.

We first held hands here

As we went to see

The movie about the incredible green thing

The wind was cold and fierce that night

But your hand in mine simply felt right (Grand-Vu Drive In Theater)

On Sundays hand in hand here we walked
Understanding and love developed as we talked
This is where I first confessed my love to you
And knew we'd be together in all things we do (Canyon Rim Trail)

Here is where the quality is only the best
As you work hard and sacrifice your rest
Wal-Mart, Sams Club--they don't compare
Because at your store, employees really care (Costco)

I met the family, played cards, ate cake
But here is where my heart did awake
That night we had another first
A kiss so wonderful I felt I'd burst (His apartment - Paradise Place)

One last place is where you'll go now
To receive a present, guaranteed to wow
This is where we talk and swing
And I realized what we have is no fling (My parents' front porch swing)

Marriage Math

Five Years of Marriage Equals:

5,437 Kisses
168 Date nights (not nearly enough!!)
74,382 Smiles
3,867 I Love Yous
985 I'm Sorrys
730 Dinners made with love
4,745 Diapers changed
264,398 Tears dried
276 Late nights
86 Plans for the future
15 jobs
7 hospital visits
4 different apartments
2 angels to cherish
1 man to love forever

I did it, I really did it.

I read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. I know, I know four and a half years of marriage and I am just reading this book. I never really thought I would do it but...it was just after I had Edison and I felt like I had to do something for Chris because when we had Gordon I think Chris felt a little left out and it was really hard on him. Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is I read it and actually learned something. The reason I decided to do this post is because Chris has brought it up several times that me reading the book has made a big difference in our marriage. Most of the book suggested obvious things I was already doing but it was a good reminder. Here are some points I thought that really hit home for me:

1. Men Need Women. And this gives us all the power, you just need to learn how to use that power. So if you wanted to be treated right, treat your man right. A lot of times we abuse this power (this is totally me) to get what we want. Women can be hypocritical at times.


2. All men really need is Appreciation, Approval, and Affection.


3. Men and women are different. She talks a lot about the feminist movement and I in no way consider myself a feminist but I found I have been influenced by feminist views just by growing up with it all around me. The world says men and women are equal meaning they should be treated the same. That is not true. We can't expect our man to be a "girlfriend" who can understand everything we need and to be our manly man. We are different. Embrace those differences (everything that makes him a man- even those annoying things) and they will compliment eachother.


4. Not every thought and feeling needs to be said. Enough said.


5. Now, if I may for a moment be a little frank. Reading this book did a lot for me in the intimate aspect of our relationship. I always just thought of Chris as a man who just has to have it and is not very sensitive to my needs. Dr. Laura said, too bad if you're too tired because sometimes your man is too tired to come home and play with the kids or help make dinner but he still does! Anyway, I won't say anymore about that, just that it really made me look at things differently. And I think that is the biggest reason Chris says the book helped our marriage!

And some might say, "what about us wives?" Well after I read the book and started trying out the concepts, I noticed Chris helping out more and just on average everything running a lot smoother. Now if I could just get Chris to read the Five Languages of Love...